4 Weeks Later - How am I doing?

I'm talking again!

Had my Week Four follow-up with Dr. Li. I was hoping I'd be immediately cleared for wearing my rubber bands only at night, but he wanted me to go a few more days wearing them full time. That means a liquid diet until Saturday. Not un-doable, but still an exercise in delay of gratification.

On the plus side, I'm down to two (instead of six, followed by four) rubber bands, which means that I don't have to talk through clenched teeth. It is such a relief to be able to communicate verbally again. Friends don't have to be staring right at me to read what I'm trying to say and conversations don't have to pause while I frantically get my thoughts onto the whiteboard or angle a monitor in someone else's direction.

My jaw still isn't super flexible, so I'm a little stiff while talking (above and beyond the resistance caused by rubber bands) and I still have a nerve in my left jaw that gets tweaked when I make certain movements too quickly. That seems to be getting better each day, though, so I think it's just a matter of getting everything used to mobility again.

Other than the irritation caused to my lips by the surgical hooks on my braces, that's about the only pain I have now, and it's pretty infrequent. I'm off pain killers entirely.

I do think I forgot to mention canker sores and irritation to inner lips in previous entries. Basically, my teeth push more against my lips because the entire jaw has been moved forward. To add to that, before surgery, the orthodontist puts on these little hooks (not scary, sharp things, just little nubs to hook rubber bands onto), which are a little pokey. I think weeks 2-3 were when I had the most irritation - right when the stitches were dissolving, but not all of the healing was done. It's not so bad now, but having wax on hand is a must!

Numbness continues to improve - although I kind of feel like my left chin lost a little sensitivity when I started talking. Increased inflammation? My imagination? Who knows.

At any rate, starting Saturday I can "chew" again. That means I can add non-blended soft foods like eggs, well-cooked pasta, fish, etc. to my diet. My eating schedule for Saturday is already mapped out:

Breakfast: Red Hots at the Doyle Street Cafe (Red Hots are pancakes made with sour cream in the batter - they are incredibly soft and delicious)

Lunch: Macaroni and Cheese at Homeroom (I've never actually been here, but a friend recommended it for Mac and Cheese)

Dinner: Fish with mashed potatoes - Location TBD (Maybe a home-cooked meal?)

After that, THE SKY IS THE LIMIT! Ok, the limit is probably still pretty soft, but I am excited to able to use a spoon, for goodness' sake.

The thing I'm most excited about, though, is that I find that for the first time in a very long while, I am able to concentrate on what I'm doing and even multi-task when necessary. I really do want to write a post about why things like that are such a big deal for me, but I haven't quite worked up the courage yet to put it into words. Suffice it to say that I simply haven't felt like myself for many years now - I lost huge parts of my self-identity to sleep apnea (motivation, inspiration, curiosity) and now, even four weeks after surgery, I feel these pieces slowly resurfacing.

Part of the reason I've been loathe to put into words my experience with sleep apnea is that I'm wary of coming across as melodramatic. But sleep apnea has had a dramatic impact on my life, and the changes that I've seen and hope to see really are and will be life-altering.

Like I wrote on facebook yesterday:

For the first time in a very long while, I feel like I've made it to the end of the tunnel and, instead of discovering a sputtering florescent light illuminating the way to new series of catacombs, I'm standing out in the open air. I've got about 100,000 bad habits to unlearn... but it feels good to breathe.